This concept is our most basic need. We have to love ourselves – the true raw version of our self. When we face the truth about who we are and accept ourselves wholeheartedly, we are free to just BE and by doing so we make room for growth. Self-love is the key that ignites our potential.
We often try to present the best version of ourselves to the world. We think we have to change for the world to love us when in fact it is the simple act of loving ourselves that enable us to love others and to enjoy the world around us. It all starts within not outward. We are made to think we need the world's approval when in fact we are what the world needs.
I think a big contributor to the problem might be social media. It creates this surreal optimum picture of reality. Filters help you present yourself in the best light and help change any feature you want altered. Whether you show a glimpse of perfection, or a burst of happiness in a picture or a short video, it is so easy to stage, control, craft an image to impress, attract or please. While many feel lonely and isolated behind their devices, they keep on putting on their social masks to get acceptance and approval. They want to be loved and try their best to emulate the popular attributes of the season. I use the pronoun "they" but I should say "we". I think if we take a hard honest look at our actions, we all have done it at least once or twice. I know I certainly have. I am aware that I love to share pictures of my most fun moments or prettiest scenery or dishes, but I do not share pictures or comments about my challenging days, or the hard days where I fight self-doubt and anxiety. I know that I choose to share mostly about my best days but never the hard days. Why do I choose to only show the happiest or most acceptable moments of my life to everyone? Maybe I do it because I only want to share happiness and uplifting pictures, but also maybe because I am secretly seeking people's approval, or maybe I feel like I belong when I follow along the trends...The truth probably is split between all these reasons. I'd love to know your reasons if you could share in the comments.
Part of owning our story and being authentic in our lives, is reckoning with the pressure of the world and realizing how it affects us. Once we are mindful of it, it is easier to choose to belong to ourselves first and foremost and to be bolder and not worry about everyone's opinion of ourselves. The "likes" and the "follow" don't matter as much. We stay anchored in our self-worth and know that we can achieve our goals.
I admire and value people who remind me on a daily basis that it is good to show up as yourself, no mask, just yourself. The flawed, the good, the bad...all the facets of who we are. We can be so many things in one package, let's not sell ourselves short for the approval of others. We are each unique, good, enough and worthy. All at once. I love writers like Glennon Doyle, or professor Brené Brown who help us tune inward and learn to be raw and vulnerable. They remind us that the instant we make peace within ourselves, we feel this sense of freedom, hope and wonder. Accepting ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally allow us to move through life with more purpose and freedom. We start understanding that we can move forward into the world without any need for anyone's approval. Being brave and authentic means striping off the layers of fake traits that we created as a survival tool to get that sense of belonging. Deep down we know we already belong as long as we belong to ourselves. Our love is enough. Being unhappy, lonely, unseen and misunderstood takes such a toll on us and it only gets us further from any sense of peace and belonging.
Unlearning to always please others first takes practice. Learning to love ourselves, have compassion and grace takes strength, and courage. It is hard but necessary. Ultimately, we get to choose how we use our strength, time and courage. It will always be worth it to choose ourselves first.
This quote by Mark Sterling: "If you want to soar in life, you must first learn to F.L.Y (First Love Yourself)" is such a good reminder that when we choose to love ourselves unconditionally and we believe that we are naturally good inside, we carry ourselves differently in the world. We hold our head up high because we are convinced that we have everything inside of us to achieve our goals. I am convinced that confidence comes from a strong sense of self-worth and self-love.
The truth is we all have that love deep inside but sometimes it gets buried under life's grief and trauma and we can't seem to find it, so we look out to the world, to our friends or loved ones for it. Let this be a gentle reminder for you that you have all the love you need right now inside of yourself. I hope you find it today and can soar high!
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