As much as we all love the holidays, it can also be a stressful time for many as we juggle more things into our routine, and a source of grief if some of your loved ones are far away or gone.
This week, we offer a few mindful tips to make this holiday a more peaceful season for you this year:
- Tip 1: Envision what you want and what you need
Take time to reflect on what matters to you and what you need this year from the holidays. Maybe you need time alone, maybe you need more time with your loved ones, maybe you just crave a quiet holiday with your immediate family. Sometimes we get caught up in following traditions even when they are not serving us anymore. Take the time to reflect on it. Then write down what will make the holiday season special to you this year.
- Tip 2: Clearly express your boundaries, and the compromises you are ready to make.
Some loved ones will have their own version of a peaceful holiday in which you play a role. They might expect things from you and sometimes those actions can be cause for stress. This can easily create conflict if there is no communication. But if you start by clearly communicating your needs, your boundaries and what you can compromise on, your loved one should be able to understand you better and be willing to compromise too with more ease. At least that is to expect in a healthy and loving relationship. If your loved ones can sometimes be narcissistic or manipulative, they might get mad, or panic or even try to guilt you into changing your mind or push you to get them exactly what they want from you. This shows you that they are not in a loving place. This is not about you anymore. You can stand firm on your boundaries and release their disappointment and anger. Your responsibility is to not betray yourself for others. We do not have to appease anyone if it is going to hurt us. If you can adapt and make efforts without jeopardizing your well-being than by all means, go ahead. Your first obligation is to yourself.
- Tip 3: Keep your basic needs met
Oftentimes it is easy during this season to spread yourself thin, stretch your calendar in order to meet everyone's invitations. This is a reminder to nurture yourself and make sure you are still making yourself a priority. It's like the saying goes " you cannot pour from an empty cup". Keep up with your daily healthy routine as best as you can so you do not end up deprived, stressed out, and depleted by the end of the holiday season.
-Tip: 4: If money is tight this year, create a realistic budget and stick to it.
What if the amount is lower than what you wish it was? Feel the disappointment and let it go. All you can do is to do the best you can in your current situation. Announce it to everyone, be clear and release the pressure of over-spending and disappointing everyone. Being generous is beautiful but if you are spending money, you do not have, you end up putting yourself in jeopardy and in debt. While this can be a tough topic to discuss with family, it is best to honor your truth and state your budget humbly and honestly. Your loved ones love you for YOU not for how much you give. Also, there are many gifts that could be offered that are meaningful but not expensive: homemade treat that you know your loved ones enjoys, if you are an artist, you could make something this year for your loved ones, write a sweet note, offer an experience or time (afternoon hike / beach time/ sleepover for grandkids, getting ice cream) something that will be meaningful and impactful but without breaking the bank.
- Tip 5: Honoring your grief:
If you have lost a loved one, grief will be a part of the holiday season. It is inevitable. Let yourself feel your grief and let your love anchor you in cherishing the memories you have of your loved one. Decide how you want to do things this year. What will bring you comfort and peace?
"The empty seat at your table this year isn't really empty. It's inhabited by love and memories and all the stories you can share. Those who aren't with us this year are absent, but never forgotten. " Hope Edelman
-Tip 6: Rejoice in the simple moments that bring you gratitude
My favorite moments are the little things we do like walk around our community to observe the Christmas lights, baking treats for neighbors, playing games around the fire, going on family outings, watching holidays movies, making a mess of a gingerbread house :) When we let those moments shine, and rejoice in all the simple pleasures, they can make us feel more alive and more loving. "Gratitude turns what we have into ENOUGH. " Melody Beattie
We hope you enjoy this season and send you our warmest wishes for a peaceful and loving holiday season!
Comments