Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Stressed out? Feeling lost? Stuck in a quick sand of disappointment or dissatisfaction? You wake up with dread, not sure how to move toward your goal? If you’ve answered yes to a few of these, let me just say: I see you. You are not alone. I hope you have a good support system around you that can listen to you vent, hug you as needed, and be there with you during this hard time. As a mindfulness life coach, I am here to listen to you and facilitate change. Today I want to give you a few tips that might help you move forward.
This post is for anyone who is in the middle of growing pains where most things feel very fragile and risky. You are not alone. In fact, many writers, poets, singers, public speakers have written about this topic.
Read the quotes below to find comfort or inspiration – or scroll down to check out my four tips to help you get unstuck and make your next move.
“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” –Alex Elle
“Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day.” – Gary Allan
“Sometimes a storm in your life is what will blow you to the place you are longing to be.” – Beth Moore
“It is only during a storm that a tree knows how strong it is.” – Matshona Dhliwayo
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” –Nora Ephron
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene
“Storms make trees take deeper roots.” –Dolly Parton
“Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.” –Rick Warren
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” –Paulo Coehlo
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” –Bob Marley
“Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever.” – Roy T. Bennett
“The storm is an artist; the rainbow is its masterpiece.” – Matshona Dhliwayo
“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” – Willa Cather
“Storms draw something out of us that calm seas don’t.” – Bill Hybels
“Storms don’t come to teach us painful lessons, rather they were meant to wash us clean.” – Shannon L. Alder
“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald
“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” –Emma Watson
Now here are my four tips to help you move forward in the middle of a storm:
TIP #1 - Be Honest with Yourself- Face Your Truth with kindness:
Are you having a hard time admitting yourself something? Sometimes we feel stuck when we don’t want to admit or say out loud what it is really bothering us. I know I have done that a few times. Something that helps me be honest with myself and saying what weighs heavy on my heart is to treat myself as I would treat a best friend: with kindness and compassion. Offer yourself the opportunity to feel freely whatever it is you are feeling, let it all flow. Let go of any self-blame or judgements you may have, replace it with self-compassion. “Are there any self-limiting beliefs that are holding me down right now? Like “ I am not good enough” “ I can’t do this”. Move past those and find the source of your problem. Ask yourself “Are you happy? Do you feel fulfilled? What do you need more in your life?”
If you find yourself angry or frustrated and not able to move past your anger, research shows that walking is a great way to get rid of anger and exercising is proven to help with personal frustrations, the release of “feel-good hormones” - the endorphins help you feel more relaxed. Once you feel more relaxed, it might be easier to be honest with yourself and admit what is bothering you.
TIP #2- Keep Strong
Keeping yourself accountable means letting go of the excuses that we sometimes make up or use to keep us safe. Change is often scary. Have you ever accepted a new position that you wanted, and after the first moments of glee and happiness, you feel this fear rising up inside of you, you worry and start thinking:” Oh no! Am I really up for this?” That is normal. It is scary to change. What will help you out of your personal storm and getting unstuck might also be very scary. Don’t let the excuses drag you down. “I will wait for this to happen…” “When my kids grow up, I will start…” “When I have more …., I will...” Don’t wait for others to do this for you. When you wait for other people or for external forces to align everything for you, you lose control of your own narrative. Keep strong, keep holding on to your narrative. You have the power here not the excuses. There is always something we can do to move forward even if it is an inch forward. Just know you are the best person to make this happen for yourself, seek the help you need and be ready to take on challenges head on. Rise up to your potential. Your fear is just part of the process, you can move through it by trusting yourself, by using your inner strength and choosing action.
TIP #3– Be Bold and Act on it:
This step comes naturally now that you have honestly faced your truth, acknowledged some of your limited beliefs or what is holding you back, you feel grounded, stronger and more accountable, you are ready for action. Change comes from within so the best way to feel unstuck is to show up for yourself. Make a choice that will benefit you, and act on it. It can be something small like:
”I feel drained so I will treat myself to a bath tonight and go to bed early so I can feel more rested and relaxed tomorrow.”
Or make an action list of what to do next. What is the next right thing to get me out of my hard situation?
“I am drowning in debt. Something has to change. I will research ways to create a passive income, ways to improve my budget and find a sure way to decrease my debt each month. Every little bit helps.”
Your plan of action needs to be SMART (specific, meaningful, achievable, realistic and timely) It will get you moving forward slowly but surely into a better season. Plan for what you want and write it down, make a vision board (digital or crafted), put affirmations on your mirrors, give yourself the support you need and get moving towards your goals. You can do it!
TIP#4 Embrace a growth mindset
If you know that failure is just one necessary step to being human, you deal with the hard times with a bit more ease. You can see the potential, create an action plan to get you out of the storm. During the hard times, we tend to be negative and think “ I can’t do this, I can’t be that” … when we are ready for change and embrace a growth mindset we think “ I don’t know how to do this YET, but I can learn how by doing ……” we change a negative into a potential action. Nothing is definitive or absolute. What we cannot do today, is an opportunity to learn about it tomorrow and master it in the future. The future is ours to take. One choice at a time, one action at a time, we can move forward.
So a quick recap – things to try if you feel stuck:
Tip#1 Be kind to yourself and face your truth – Is there something you are hiding or not wanting to talk about? Offer yourself compassion and be honest with yourself. State what you need and want.
Tip#2 Be strong- Move past your fears and your excuses. Keep yourself accountable and tune into your own strength. You hold the power of your narrative!
Tip#3 Act on it - Show up for yourself, act on it! Make SMART actions to move yourself forward
Tip#4 Get your mindset right! Focus on all the growth and potential, your future is yours to take!
Which tip did you need the most? Is there any wisdom that you experienced yourself and would like to share? I’d love to know! Leave a comment below to share more about it!
Thank you!
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